I need a Translator.

"Really? Are you sure? Because in order to ask for one, in order to actually talk to a REAL person, you have to listen to 2 menus in English. But yeah, we can give you one if you ever make it there. That is, if they're not busy. We're busy. You're busy. But we won't let your friend help you over the phone. Even if you say it's okay. It doesn't matter that you can't read. We need your address. Your phone number. Your birthday. Your friend can't help you. No, we can't talk to her unless you verify all this information. We know you don't speak English but the translators are all busy. No, we can't give you a list of other doctors until you verify this information. Your chest hurts? You have a history of chest pain and you were taking prescription pain medicine? Okay, call you doctor, No, don't go to the hospital: call your doctor. I'm sorry your doctor has a waiting list of 2-4 months. Why don't you get a new one? Yes, please tell me your birthday, address, and phone number. What language do you speak? No one here speaks that. Is there a similar dialect? They're all busy. Your friend cannot answer for you. No, we cannot speak to her unless you can verify this information. Sorry, we can't help you."

Wait what? Member service line, with a member number, the member RIGHT there, and you can't help me? Frustrating? No? I cried afterwards. I hung up on her. On the phone for one hour and I couldn't even get a list of OTHER approved doctors for my friend from Liberia. Don't even get me started on the politics of English learning and teaching and assisting Non-native English speakers. You might not agree with everything that I would say, but can you agree that the system that sent me in circles DOES NOT WORK?!